Dangersquirrel vs the NFL

The NFL season moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.

Survivor: CAR
Locks: CAR, NE, BAL, DAL
Underdogs: DET, TEN, ARI, PHI, NO

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose!

Once a year the Jewish people take a day away from the chaos of normal life to reflect on and atone for our actions of the past year. It is an often-uncomfortable but nonetheless necessary process. Looking back on the last 12 months, one of my takeaways is that I have let the extraordinarily dour circumstances around me affect my optimism. I have begun to expect the worst to an extent that is not healthy, that leads me to sabotage opportunity before it can develop, out of fear that I will be disappointed by an unfavorable outcome. So my intention coming out of this Yom Kippur is to find the strength to be vulnerable, so I can let the good things in again.
Like with anything, sports presents a great opportunity to create a proxy for a larger overall dynamic: I can practice this paradigm shift by applying it to the NFL! The Broncos make this goal difficult. However, this week saw a rarity: the Broncos, Seahawks, Saints, and Packers all won, as did my fantasy team, so… Yasher koach to me.

SEA over LAR
When the Rams were lining up for the kick I told my partner Tasha that the game was over, the Rams won. She said they still have to kick the field goal. I said that was a formality. Tasha: 1 Dangersquirrel: 0.

NO over TB
Not even as close as the score, Jameis struggled again (good sign) and Teddy Bridgewater had his career day. It’s nice to know the offense can contribute to a Saints win without Drew Brees.

OAK over CHI
Jon Gruden sold out to neutralize Khalil Mack and it worked. Josh Jacobs had another big game and Chase Daniel did not step up, despite this London tilt being ostensibly a Bears home game. Some rethinking might be in order as far as whether or not Gruden’s rebuild is working.

BUF over TEN
My kind of game. Neither team was gonna blink on defense. Cairo Santos missed 9 points worth of kicks in a 7 point loss, so now the Titans have signed… *checks notes* Cody Parkey?? The Bills will come out of their bye in two weeks 4-1 with Josh Allen back.

ARI over CIN
As hard as the Cards tried to give this game away at the end, they showed that they are further along the rebuilding process than the Bengals, who have yet to admit that it is in fact a rebuild. Andy Dalton would appear to be in a lame duck season, and has shown fewer moments of real NFL quarterbacking than Kyler Murray, though without AJ Green or John Ross he does have the excuse of having Tyler Boyd as his #1 target.

HOU over ATL
Deshaun Watson (on my fantasy team) passed for over 400 yards, 5 TDs and a perfect passer rating in a game where his mom was made an honorary captain in recognition of her victory against cancer. He did so throwing to Will Fuller (on my fantasy) much more than Deandre Hopkins, which is great character development. Atlanta just cannot put things together, and it’s starting to look like the end of the Dan Quinn era.

CAR over JAX
A surprising back-and-forth game with two surprisingly entertaining young QBs filling in for injured starters. Christian McCaffrey can add this pelt to his wall as another game where he was the difference, though credit also goes to the Carolina defense. Again.

PHI over NYJ
Philly sleepwalked through this one and still covered the 14 point spread. Adam Gase has a lot of good excuses but there’s got to be a level of Bad that is inexcusable.

NE over WSH
Jay Gruden’s death rattle involved going into the second quarter with the first lead anyone has had over the Patriots since the AFC title game despite his beloved Colt McCoy having -9 passing yards. By halftime it was still just 7-13. Then the dam broke, the Pats piled on the points, and long story short Jay Gruden will be the Raiders’ Offensive Assistant in no time.

BAL over PIT
Not encouraging for Baltimore that even after knocking Mason Rudolph out of the game and playing about a half of football against a guy so insignificant I’m not gonna bother looking up his name, it still took a ticky-tack RTP call and a forced fumble in OT to to pull this one off.

MIN over NYG
Glad I overcame my instinct to pick the Giants. That would have been embarrassing.

DEN over LAC
We have to figure out how to stop running into brick walls on offense, but at least this time we actually got in the win column. The Chargers look hapless. It’s hard to think about how the Broncos should be 3-2 with the two losses coming in competitive games on the road against opponents with winning records.

GB over DAL
Impressive comeback attempt by Dallas but the Packers forced a lot of mistakes and put the ‘Boys in too big a hole. I still think Dallas is a good team but their stock was undeniably inflated by an early schedule almost as easy as the Patriots’. Aaron Rodgers’ anti-Cowboys superpowers are remarkable.

IND over KC
A lot like the Eagles’ loss to the Falcons, KC just Got too beat up and never recovered. Even with that being the case, the Colts played almost exclusively man coverage, which is apparently an obvious Achilles heel for this offense now, as noted by the Patriots last year and the Lions last week.

SF over CLE
It was strength against weakness with the Niners pass rush going against the Cleveland o-line. Baker just never stood a chance back there.

Underdogs: 2-2 (7-9) 
Locks: 2-2 (1 over LAR7-6-1)
Survivor: 4-1 BAL, NE, GB, LAC, KC
Don Shula Award Candidates: NE, SF
Matt Millen Sashi Brown Award Candidates: CIN, MIA, WSH
Title Belt: NE defended from WSH (6 week reign)

Listen, people who play football should get paid to play football. There is an incredible gap between how much old rich white people get paid to own football teams and how much, on average, players actually make. When we think of football players and how they relate to money, we most often think of the likes of Sam Bradford, making many millions of dollars on multiple contracts just for being in the league. But the typical football player’s story is more like: scraping their way through college often racking up debt because they’re not allowed to make money, getting drafted in a late round where the rookie scale is relatively low, getting their bodies wrecked playing on and off for 2-5 years, then getting phased out of the league and entering the workforce as a physically limited and untrained 30-ish-year-old who’s likely to develop significant disabilities in their middle age.
I love that California is not letting the NCAA make millions of dollars off of vulnerable young people putting their bodies on the line without letting those young people take care of themselves and their communities. And I hate that nobody made the Chargers pay Melvin Gordon. If you think they shouldn’t have to pay Gordon because Austin Ekeler is playing well, then you just believe two people should be underpaid to play RB for the Chargers. That’s highkey bootlicker mentality.

Survivor: KC
Locks: CHI, PHI, NE, KC
Underdogs: LAR, BUF, TB, ARI

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose!