Underdogs: 1-3 (11-14)
Locks: 3-3 (24-7)
Survivor: 5-1 LVR, TB, IND, DEN, DAL, NE,
Brady/Bellichick Breakup Scorekeeper: While Bill was busy falling below .500 in October for the first time ever with a loss at home to the Broncos who couldn’t even get into the end zone, Tom was cruising past what might be the best team in his conference. Point and a half Tom. (Bill: 2.5 Tom: 4)
Title Belt: OAK was on BYE (1 week reign)
Needles: 0-1-1 (5-5-8) [Favourite won, dog covered/favourite covered/dog won]
Don Shula Award Eligible teams: SEA, PIT, TEN (5-0)
Matt Millen/Sashi Brown Award Finalist: NYJ (0-6)
- GOOD GUYS BEAT THE BAD GUYS!!!!
HAHAHAHA FUCK THE PATRIOTS!! Drew Lock: youngest QB to win in Gillette Stadium. The first time Bill Belichick has lost a game where he didn’t allow a touchdown. Cam Newton falls to 0-4 against the Broncos. Brandon McManus ties a franchise record with 6 field goals. Just a lot of fun. Probably means nothing going forward but I don’t care. - Titans over Texans eventually
Well, it took over 200 Derrick Henry rushing yards (though 93 of those came on 1 play), a bunch of 2nd half lead changes, and a single drive of overtime, but the Titans are now 5-0 and playing just like they did late last year despite missing half their roster to Coronavirus. I feel very sorry for Deshaun Watson because he is looking at multiple years before his transcendent skills might have a chance at amounting to wins in this organization. - Steelers over Browns again
You can set your clocks by it, really. The Browns’ 4 wins have been fun but the AFC North is still so distinctly stratified: Baltimore and Pittsburgh trade around the top spot, the Bengals and Browns are stuck trading the bottom role. It would take decades for that to shift.
Shoutout to Chris Simms for convincing me to hold on to Chase Claypool early in the season. It has paid off handsomely.
And for the record, Mason Rudolph deserved it, and Roethlisberger deserves the same. - Ravens over Eagles
In back to back weeks the Eagles have taken on both AFC North frontrunners, and both weeks they got their crap smashed in early only to sneak back in just barely too late to complete a comeback. Unfortunately for them, almost-wins don’t count. Fortunately for them, they don’t need that many actual wins to stay in their division race. Unfortunately for them, their entire team is on IR. - Giants over This Space Intentionally Left Blank
Danny Dimes threw just his third TD of the season and managed to give New York City its first win of the season because Riverboat Ron showed up for the classic Go For Broke 2pt conversion and failed. Possibly the least consequential game of the season, as all that was at stake was probably who picks 3rd and who picks 4th if there’s ever a 2021 draft. - Falcons over Vikings, and it stayed that way for once
I didn’t expect Raheem Morris to get a New Coach Bump and I was wrong. I faced Matt Ryan and Calvin Ridley in fantasy this week and I guess Mike Zimmer personally wanted to cost me this matchup. Both of these teams have had disappointing starts but the Vikings at least could have stayed in the playoff hunt with a win here. Now they’re looking less 9-7 and more 6-10 every week. - Colts over Bengals
It looked for the first 20 minutes or so like Joe Burrow was gonna just straight up obliterate the Colts. Then the Bengals offense cut out completely and Philip Rivers went vintage and squeaked one out. I’m not surprised, I’m just disappointed. The Bengals are still very much in a place to accept moral victories, so congrats on the brief possibility of a win, Cincy. - Lions over Jaguars
Hey, you may be the Lions, but at least you’re not the Jaguars. - Bears over Panthers
Teams like the Bears happen all the time: We all know their early-season record is inflated, but when you look at their 5-game cushion and their mostly-soft schedule late in the year, you realize chances are they’re ending up with 10-12 wins and decent playoff seeding. - Dolphins shut out Jets the week I start their defense in fantasy
This time last year we were all convinced the Dolphins were going 0-16. So maybe the Jets can make it to 6-10. 0 wins seems more likely though. - Bad Guys defeat the Good Guys
The Green Tampa game just sucked. It really did. Main takeaways are that a) life’s not fair and b) Todd Bowles really should be a head coach somewhere. - 49ers over Rams
Something about the Niners just makes Jared Goff fall flat on his face. As a Seahawks fan, this ends up as one of those Winning On The Bye Week situations, with the Rams taking an L and the Niners losing another running back. - Chiefs over Bills
I drafted Clyde Edwards-Helaire in fantasy because as much as I don’t want to implicitly support the Chiefs by using their players, I will be damned if they’re gonna have another good chess piece to employ without my benefitting vicariously. - Cardinals over Cowboys
The NFC East is 2-15-1 outside their own division. Fucking incredible.
Dangersquirrel vs the NFL 