Underdogs: 2-1 (8-10)
Locks: 5-1 (17-3)
Survivor: 4-0 LVR, TB, IND, DEN
Brady/Bellichick Breakup Scorekeeper: Tom had another awful pick-6 but became the oldest QB to ever throw 5 TDs in a game. Bill looked miserable in his mask wasting a great defensive gameplan on Brain Hoyer and Jarret Stidham. Point Tom. (Bill: 1.5 Tom: 2.5)
Title Belt: KC defended from NE (6 week reign)
Needles: 2-0-1 (3-4-6) [Favourite won, dog covered/favourite covered/dog won]
Don Shula Award Eligible teams: BUF, KC, GB, SEA (4-0)/PIT, TEN (3-0)
Matt Millen/Sashi Brown Award Eligible teams: ATL, NYG, HOU, NYJ (0-4)
- Broncos over Jets
Thank god the Broncos won a game, because I do not have confidence in the full schedule being played and I couldn’t bear a winless season on the Broncos’ record. I think Sam Darnold somehow turning a 3rd down sack into a 45 yard TD run and Darnold somehow coming back after 1 drive on the sidelines for what was clearly supposed to be a broken collar bone just karmically balanced out. - Seahawks over Dolphins
Russell Wilson is on pace for like 67 TDs, so who cares if the Dolphins were only trailing by 1 point in the 4th quarter? When do we get to see Tua, anyway? - Saints over Lions
Someone clearly was on social media while drawing up the gameplay for New Orleans because Drew Brees was unleashed. After letting the Lions jump out to a 14-0 lead Brees led 4 straight TD drives and averaged over 10 air yards, after all the talk of his decline in that area. This is why even when Brees is not gunning out, I am not worried about the Saints’ playoff chances. The Lions, though, have lost 6 straight games where they led by 10+ points, which is an NFL record that should absolutely get Matt Patricia fired midseason. - Browns over ‘Boys
Am I really happy for the Browns or am I just bathed in schadenfreude (word of the week fr y’all) at the Cowboys’ misfortunes? I think it’s a bit of both. You can’t help but have sympathy when a team is 3-1 for the first time since 2002. - Panthers over Cardinals
Excited for a week of every sports podcaster calling Carolina and Teddy Bridgewater “Frisky.” - Buccaneers over Chargers
Fuck both of these teams honestly. I’m fine with the Chargers when they’re bad but if Justin Herbert is as good as he’s been so far I’m gonna have to hate them. OJ Howard was my backup plan at fantasy tight end. - Burrows over Minshews
When I went to bed on Saturday it seemed unlikely that the Chiefs would play this week, so I started Giovanni Bernard (who was supposed to fill in for Joe Mixon) over Clyde Edwards-Helaire. I woke up at 10:30 to find that Mixon started and Kansas City was rescheduled for Monday night. Fuck. - Ravens over What the Footballs
The GOP’s thirst for RBG’s Supreme Court seat has gotten at least 30 of their own people sick and still might kill the president (please kill the president). Also Claudia Conway is a better journalist than Rachel Maddow. - Vikings over Texans
When you just keep demanding more and more and more power, eventually there are no more scapegoats, and every mistake is your own, its consequences yours to bear in solitude.
I might be talking about Bill O’Brien, but you definitely know who else I’m talking about as well. - Rams over Giants, both on the field and in the octagon
An awkward game that the Rams failed to dominate but still won pretty comfortably included a dustup between Aaron Donald and a Giants player, and ended in a full-on fistfight between Jalen Ramsey and a New York wide receiver over some perceived slight from one of them breaking up with the other’s sister. I don’t care enough to look up the details, but I do know this will distract from the fact that the Rams a) are good enough to challenge the Seahawks for the division still, and b) never should have been allowed to design new uniforms. - Bills over Raiders
Raising your stock by beating a top-10 team in primetime to open a new stadium and then immediately tripping over your own dick the next two weeks is a very Gruden Team thing to do. The Bills aren’t perfect but they’re good enough to give even my cold dead heart some hope that the Pats won’t steal the division for the 9,000th straight year. - Colts over Bears
Good luck predicting how Nick Foles will play in any given week. He was garbage this time against his old coach. - Eagles over whoever that was playing against the Eagles
NFC East games this season that weren’t losses:
– Washington makes a comeback over Philly week one. Intra-division game, doesn’t count.
– Dallas makes a historic comeback against the fail-prone Falcons, including an onside kick that will be a staple in sports blooper reels for years to come.
– Eagles intentionally tie with a team that barely qualifies as professional outside of their hotshot rookie QB.
– Eagles take the division lead with 1.5 wins in 4 weeks after narrowly beating one of the few teams more beat-up than they are. - Chiefs over Patriots
I regret to have to admit I ended up rooting for the Chiefs in this game. Sorry-ish. - Packers Falcons
If anyone hurts Aaron Rodgers I will kill them.
Dangersquirrel vs the NFL 