Underdogs: 3-3 (6-9)
Locks: 2-1 (12-2)
Survivor: 3-0 LVR, TB, IND
Brady/Bellichick Breakup Scorekeeper: Tie, because Bill can still pull off a revenge game and Tom is now .500 or better against every team in the league. (Bill: 1.5 Tom: 1.5)
Title Belt: KC defended from BAL (5 week reign)
Needles: 0-2-1 (1-4-5) [Favourite won but dog covered/favourite won and covered/dog covered and won]
- Dolphins over Jags
A game that did not disappoint. The Jags defense is hot garbage and Fitzmagic balled out and flashed a lot of chest hair in the weird distanced postgame interview. I give it three weeks before he’s back to throwing for 45 yards and 2 INTs per game. - Steelers over Texans
Another close shave for the Steelers, but infuriatingly they pull it off again. 3-0 is 3-0 and 0-3 is 0-3. Texans still look like a team in need of a WR and at least one top-end guy on both O line and D line. - TIE BETWEEN BENGALS AND EAGLES!
Everyone on football twitter calls Joe Burrow their son now, and I think I’m there with them. If the Eagles couldn’t get things going in this spot it’s never gonna happen. They played for the tie, which I love but would never do in a million years. Meanwhile Burrow has 0.3 seconds after the snap before DTs start burrowing into his chest, and he’s doing an incredible job of compensating but who knows how long that can happen? - Niners over Giants
Oops, boy was I wrong. San Fran’s c-squad rolled in here and kicked the shit out of New York with ease. - Pats over Raiders
The Raiders contained Cam Newton, which helped them stay in the game for about 1.5 quarters. - Bears over Falcons for fuck’s sake
Did the Bears make a comeback because switching to Nick Foles in the 4th quarter was a good move, or because the Falcons have angered a vengeful god? We may never know. - Bills over Rams I mean Rams over Bills I mean Bills over Rams
The Bills gained and then lost a 28-3 lead, then Josh Allen spent 5 minutes swinging Buffalo’s win probability by plus or minus 15% on each play before hitting a game-winning TD aided by a pass interference call that I hear was questionable but I haven’t actually seen. - Titans over Vikings
By one point. When I put most of my fake money on Titans -2. After missing 4 kicks in the first 58 minutes of the season, Stephen Gostkowski is 3/3 in game-winners now. Life comes at you fast. - Browns over Football Team
The Football Team actually held a lead in the 4th, so I was not completely wrong to pick the cover. - Colts over Jets
Get ready for several months of hyperbole about how the Jets would lose to the best college team, which this year is, what, like, Georgia Tech or something? - Panthers over Chargers
They fuckin did it. McCaffrey is injured and the Panthers win? Okay. Teddy is gonna win more than people think, isn’t he? Good for him. And fuck Justin Herbert, he’s already annoying. - Lions over Cardinals
Kenny Golladay is the difference for the Lions. My fantasy team appreciates his 29 points but still lost by like 50 points. - Buccaneers over what’s left of the Broncos
It just keeps getting worse. Fuck me. Lost year, I swear to god. I didn’t need this shit right now. - Seahawks over Cowboys
Concerned about Jamal Adams and convinced this shit is not sustainable for the playoffs, but shit is it fun for now. - Packers over Saints
Weird that even without Devante Adams and Michael Thomas both offenses hit 30 points. - Chiefs over Ravens
I been told y’all.
Dangersquirrel vs the NFL 