What is John Elway’s deal? He finishes the season telling us Scangiarello is safe at OC and then in the middle of a divisional round game he sends Scangs out on an ice floe and hires Pat Shurmur like 20 minutes later??? I just… There were some issues with the Scangiarello offense but some of the smarter football people I know of have laid out all the ways that the offense was a failure of personnel not of scheme. Seems like not much of an upgrade at the cost of continuity for your young QB.
Niners over Vikings
The Vikings were paper tigers. Their weaknesses played so well into the 49ers’ hands. The second half was not even close. Nick Bosa is an asshole. Remember when the Broncos almost hired Kyle Shanahan?
Ravens defeat Mike Vrabel’s penis by losing
In the playoffs there are fewer games per week and every team is proven enough that when they lose it’s abnormal. So we search for deeper meaning in playoff results much more so than in the regular season. A whole lot of tropes come up here: January is the time for Running The Ball. The team that romped through the regular season was “not ready for postseason ball.” Sitting for two weeks made the Ravens rusty. It was a trap game. I think the most true is actually the one that’s usually overblown, and that’s that the extra week of rest really took the Ravens out of the game. They weren’t dialed in, Vrabel’s squad was chomping at the bit and brimming with confidence, and when the Ravens came out slow it was not within their wheelhouse to come from behind. Not when Derrick Henry coming through like a freight train on every play so the Titans win comfortably with Ryan Tannehill only passing for less than 90 yards. Not when Lamar Jackson got stuffed on two QB sneaks and had 4 turnovers, 3 of which were on bad decisions he never made in the regular season. Now the Titans move improbably on and the Ravens go home with 0 postseason wins to show for their 14-2 season. Don’t you dare bad-mouth Lamar Jackson though.
Texans over Chi — No, wait, I guess it’s not over yet… Yeah okay Chiefs over Texans.
For the first quarter there seemed to be a curse placed over the Chiefs. The Texans rocketed to a 21-0 lead. The Chiefs were dropping things all over and couldn’t cover Kenny Stills or really anyone else. Then to open the second quarter Bill O’Brien decided that 4th and inches in the red zone called for a field goal and 4th and 2 from his own 35 warranted a fake punt, and boom, the Chiefs score TDs on 7 straight possessions and the Texans are down 24-41. Look, I get that O’Brien has been in the playoffs more often than not, but don’t you think it’s clear by now how little of that is because of him? The thing that’s fucked up here is that O’Brien is his own GM. I would get rid o him, honestly. It was not fun seeing his let the Chiefs take over so thoroughly. When O’Brien wins a game it’s because he’s either blowing out a bad team or making a Deshaun Watson-fueled comeback against a team that took its foot off the gas too soon.
Packers over Seahawks if you believe the refs
Yeah, the comeback was unlikely anyway, but calling Jimmy Graham’s first down when he was taken down visibly multiple feet shy of the line to gain was the nail in the coffin. An entertaining game that came down to a reffing blunder. Maybe it wouldn’t have if the Seahawks could run the ball in the first half. The Packers now go play in Santa Clara, where they were blown to smithereens already this year.
Postseason: 2-6 / 3-4-1 / -$4
Title Belt: TEN won from BAL (1 week reign)
Dangersquirrel vs the NFL 