Several years ago I watched Peyton Manning break the career TD record. It was supposed to be unbreakable after Brett Favre retired but there we were, watching it happen. I was kinda emotional. At the time I really looked up to Peyton.
Now I know better. I know more about his past and I don’t see him with such rose colored glasses. He was so good at football but he was a real scumbag in a lot of way.
Tonight Drew Brees broke Peyton’s record. He’s had a lot of help from a Hall of Fame head coach and some incredible rosters, not to mention an incredible home field advantage at a turf site. But he also was overlooked from the beginning of his career as an atypically short passer, and was left for dead by the Chargers and passed up by the Dolphins before ending up in New Orleans just in time to be part of its most traumatic period since Lincoln was in office. He brought a hurting city the football legitimacy it had lacked for so long.
And yet, he also is… A bit of a scumbag. He hasn’t to my knowledge sexually assaulted a woman and then used his fame and family connections to ruin her career like Peyton, and I don’t think he’s lied about using HGH to recover from a neck injury and he didn’t use his few moments after winning the Super Bowl to awkwardly plug Bud Light, but he has worked very actively with terrible, bigoted, zealously anti-LGBTQIA+ organizations. He overhypes the US military more even than most in the NFL, and he actively promoted the NFL’s horribly racist takes on Colin Kaepernick and the movement he started.
It is hard to find heroes in football, because they have to excel both in being a good person, and in a sport that is inundated in a culture that is toxic and regressive. It’s almost like politics in that way — You can barely even get into a position with a national spotlight without inherently doing things that are to be frowned upon.
But thank god Tom Brady didn’t break the record first. I hope he never gets it. Keep throwing touchdowns, Drew, and keep your damn mouth shut about Kaep and your white supremacist takes on the Bible and all that bullshit.
RIP:
Bengals, Lions, Falcons, Giants, Cardinals, Dolphins, Chargers, Jets, Jaguars, Washington, Buccaneers, Panthers, Broncos, Colts, Bears
CLINCHED:
Saints, Ravens, Chiefs, Patriots, Bills, Packers, Seahawks, 49ers
Ravens over Jets
The Ravens got back to blowing teams up in every possible way. I’m just glad this year’s Fun Team is one I can wholeheartedly get behind!
Packers over Bears
Another uninspiring outing by the somehow unbeatable Packers. They almost let Mitchell Trubisky lead a comeback. But instead Green Bay clinch and Chicago are eliminated and we’re still wondering what exactly is the Packers’ calling card? What’s their ceiling? If they pull some bullshit like beating the Seahawks at Lambeau and then the Niners in Santa Clara and then they get beat by the Pats in the Super Bowl I will be Mad.
Snow over Chiefs over Broncos
I don’t even give a fuck that we lost (pretty badly) because there was SNOW!!!! 😀 But also we have to take a chill pill. Yeah, it sucked watching a TE blow us up in the snow after what we went through in the Vance Joseph era. And I don’t know if any team has been personally victimized by Patrick Mahomes more than the Broncos (maybe the Patriots? Good.) But we were only a couple plays away from that being at least a 13-20 game, in a really really tough spot. Sometimes it’s rough as a rebuilding team, and we haven’t experienced that a lot, but we have so much more to build on right now than we have in the last three years.
Seahawks over Panthers
A Pyrrhic victory for the Seahawks, losing a handful of guys including Quandre Diggs. Add that to players like Rashaad Penny and Jadeveon Clowney being out already and a suspension for Josh Gordon. If the Seahawks end up the NFC’s #1 seed, it’ll be a tenuous position for them.
Buccaneers over Detroit
Jameis Winston has thrown for almost a thousand passing yards in the last two weeks, with Mike Evans and Chris Godwin not healthy, and he is still not really a starting QB.
Giants over Dolphins
Eli Manning is back to .500 and now has thrown an interception to every team other than the Giants in the league. The Dolphins could still end up with the #1 pick.
Eagles over R******s
An exciting, down to the wire game, which is not what the Eagles would have wanted. First signs of life from Dwayne Haskins. That Cowboys/Eagles game for the division is still on!
Patriots over The Marks
Yeah, so, why would the Patriots need to spy on these fools, again?
Texans over Titans
The whole division may very well come down to a couple of plays from this game. None of us really care.
Cardinals over Browns
Because of course.
Jaguars over Raiders
The most Raiders thing imaginable was coughing up this win in the final two minutes. They’re done with Oakland and frankly I hope Oakland is done with them.
Vikings over Chargers
Another Pyrrhic victory: The Vikings blow out the Chargers, but they lose Dalvin Cook the week before their Monday Night (uh oh) date with Aaron Rodgers.
Falcons at the last second over 49ers
An incredible comeback from the Falcons, which feeds into some weird SBLI narratives. The last two minutes of the game took nine hours, and included a properly-reviewed overturned TD, followed by a properly-reviewed overturned non-TD.
Cowboys over Rams goddamnit
I fucking give up. Fuck this shit.
Bills over Steelers
A game that was exactly what we thought it would be, finally! Except I thought the Steelers would get like a pick-6 or something so… My bad.
Saints over Colts
A total dismantling by Drew Brees. It’s the most Brees shit ever to break the all time career TDs record and the single game completion percentage record and the consecutive completions record in the same game. He went 29/30! For fuck’s sake!
Underdogs: 1-1 (22-31)
Locks: 4-2 (57-23-1)
Survivor: 10-5 BAL, NE, GB, LAC, KC, CAR, SEA, LAR, DAL, NO, OAK, CLE, NYJ, MIN, SF
Title Belt: BAL defended from NYJ (7 week reign)
Dangersquirrel vs the NFL 