I’ve got nothing interesting to say so RIP and let’s just write about the games, eh?
Texans over Colts
Pretty sure the AFC’s 4 seed was just decided by missed calls so that’s very NFL 2019.
Bills over Yikes
The Broncos are now 7-4.
Saints barely over Panthers
The NFL’s pass interference rule should just read “Fuck the Saints in particular.”
Seahawks over Eagles
Whatever the Eagles think they have when they trot Carson Wentz and co. out there, I struggle to call it an “offense.”
Buccaneers over Falcons
Just goes to show: never bet on a Buccs or Falcons game, much less a Buccs AND Falcons game.
Browns over Dolphins
Oh god, if the Browns really do end up in the playoffs I swear to god…
Bears over Giants
If the Giants were able to kick a goddamn field goal I would have gotten my pick right but I guess the Bears transferred their curse somehow?
Washington over what’s left of the Lions
The Washington Redacteds will pay you $5 to come watch their football games.
Jets over Raiders
Why is Vegas the only one that didn’t see this coming?
Steelers over Bengals
If the Steelers had left Mason Rudolph in the Bengals would have completed the upset.
Titans over Jaguars
Okay fine, the Titans are better with Tannehill and the Jags are maybe better with Gardner Minshew. You happy?
Patriots over Cowboys
Leave it to the Pats to beat the Cowboys but not cover the spread. Classic.
49ers over Packers
If I had known George Kittle would be good to go I would not have taken the Packers. But I probably still should have known.
Ravens over Rams
Lamar Jackson is football porn.
Underdogs: 2-3 (17-26)
Locks: 2-1 (45-16-1)
Survivor: 9-3 BAL, NE, GB, LAC, KC, CAR, SEA, LAR, DAL, NO, OAK, CLE
Matt Millen/Sashi Brown Award Finalist: CIN (0-11)
Title Belt: BAL defended from LAR (4 week reign)
Dangersquirrel vs the NFL 