“Get into journalism!” they said. “It’ll be fun!” they said. “There are lots of jobs in writing where you can blend different interests into a unique perspective that will be valued by readers and employers!” they said. “All you have to do is look at the success of sites like Deadspin to see that this industry is perfect for creative, opinionated people who want a flexible work situation with hours and locations that work for them!” they said.
Niners over Cards
Props to the Cardinals for coming up with a gameplan to keep it close. Not a lot to say about the Niners, they’re just fucking good.
Texans over Jags
Gardner Minshew turned into a pumpkin and now Nick Foles is back to Nick Foles Gardner Minshew back after Gardner Minshew almost Nick Foles’d Nick Foles.
Eagles over Bears
The Bears had fewer first half yards than I did, so it’s hard to think this one was even as close as it was. Goodbye Mitchell.
Steelers over Colts
Well if you told me that Brian Hoyer would play most of this game I probably would have picked it differently, now wouldn’t I? And of course a week after stealing one from the Broncos with a long buzzer-beater Adam Vinatieri kicks the ball right into gopher territory with the game on the line for the Steelers. Fuck that guy.
Dolphins over Jets
It is almost as hard to go 0-16 as it is to go 16-0. I was really rooting for Miami to be the first team to record both all-win and all-loss seasons, but alas, the Jets are playing 4D chess, stealing the Dolphins’ draft position and perhaps sealing Adam Gase’s fate in the process.
Bills over Snyders
So that’s why they weren’t playing Dwayne Haskins yet.
Panthers over Titans
If you say so.
Chiefs over Vikings
Seahawks over Bucs
Scoring a last minute touchdown to send a shootout game to overtime where you lose by giving up a TD on the first possession is spiritually, if not financially, the same as covering a 5 point spread.
Broncos over Browns
QBs with the last name Allen went 3-0 this week. What is it with the Broncos and ending Browns seasons? We’re just so good at it. Eat your heart out, Adam Rank, we are 3-6! Should be 6-3!
Chargers over Packers
Sometimes it be like that.
Ravens over Pats
The pats are now 1-1, and I could kiss Lamar Jackson on the mouth.
Cowboys over Giants
No
Underdogs: 0-1 (12-18)
Locks: 5-3 (36-11-1)
Survivor: 7-2 BAL, NE, GB, LAC, KC, CAR, SEA, LAR, DAL
Don Shula Award Finalist: SF
Matt Millen Sashi Brown Award Finalist: CIN
Title Belt: BAL won from NE (1 week reign)
Dangersquirrel vs the NFL 