Week 13 Results 2021

Chaos!!! Predictable chaos!!!

• Cowboys over Saints 😦
  Dark days indeed. The Saints have tried 3 different QBs this season and none of them do the trick. Big credit to Drew Brees who spent a HoF career listening to people say that you could plug anyone into Sean Payton’s offense and they’d put up 5,000 yards every season.
  
• Buccaneers over Falcons
  Gross.
  
• Cardinals over Bears
  Kyler Murray was out for like a month. The Cardinals dropped one game and went right back to it when he got back. I don’t think there’s a more well-rounded team in the league, somewhat inexplicably.
  
• Chargers over Bengals
  Sometimes I wish this season would just calm down a little. The first season than I would love to have be fewer weeks is instead a week longer? Unfair.
  
• Lions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or should I say, Wions!!!!!!!!!!
  They won! Hilarious! Against the Vikings, which is even more hilarious! And now the Broncos get to play the 1-10-1 Lions, meaning we have to win because that’ll make them 1-11-1. Somehow the Lions are not mathematically eliminated yet? I don’t understand how that could possibly be but apparently the Texans are the only team out of this thing.
  
• Dolphins over Giants
  Someone write an essay determining what happened between the last loss in the Dolphins’ 5-game losing streak, and now.
  
• Eagles still undefeated by Jets
  12-0 all time, 3-0 since I started watching football. That’s comedy.
  
• Colts shut out Texans
  I had Indy’s defense in the game where they made Houston bench Tyrod Taylor for Davis Mills, and I squandered it by being shit at every single other position.
  
• Washingtons over Loss Vegases
  Bubble teams playing games with 2-point margins is the backbone of the league.
  
• Rams over Jags
  Some games should just get cancelled. Like a flex game but it’s flexed into oblivion instead of ESPN.
  
• Steelers over Ravens
  The whole world is questioning John Harbaugh’s decision to go for the winning 2-point conversion. Why do we only accept that move when it’s a Plucky Upstart coach? It was the right move, and the throw was there if anyone bothered to block.
  
• Seahawks over Niners
  And death and taxes. Please never stop being batshit, Seahawks.
  
• 😦
  I knew we were gonna lose to the Chiefs but this was so painful. Held mahomes to his worst passer rating ever, and still wasn’t even competitive. This game needed to be a referendum on the season, and this result should honestly mean the end of the Fangio era.
  
• Lake Effect Wind is a Patriots Fan For Some Reason
  The only thing that could spoil a game so entertainingly destroyed by the weather that Bill Belichick erases the forward pass from history is the Pats taking over the AFC 1 seed spot.