Week 11 Results 2021

Remember how Indigenous people invented football and now we don’t give them credit and we’re only just now scratching the surface of ceasing to use them as an aesthetic and one of the biggest days on the NFL calendar is when Americans gather around to spread racist settler myths about how we came to live on their land?

• Pats shut out Falcons
  Everyone else is out here barking about the “28 – 3 = 25” garbage while I’m just mad the Perna Curse doesn’t work against the Patriots (typical).
  
• Vikings reverse-Gary-Anderson the Packers
  That’s what it’s called when they actually make the kick. I’d love to say karma came for Rodgers by giving him a loss in his best personal game of the season, but that would mean karma rewarded Kirk Cousins and we cannot have that.
  
• Eagles run roughshod over the Saints
  I think it’s time to take the Eagles seriously as a playoff contender, and to remember the reasons why the Broncos drafted Paxton Lynch, other than that John Elway can’t evaluate QB talent for shit.
  
• Niners beat the crap out of the Jags
  And they almost looked like a real NFL team over the last month, too. Shame.
  
• Colts destroy Bills
  Jonathan Taylor is just a fun player to watch! Derrick Henry was supposed to do the 2k thing again, but I think it’s likely Taylor and a lot of other running backs also came into the 17-game season thinking they could make it happen. The Bills are falling apart still.
  
• Dolphins over Jets
  Joe Flacco is starting professional football games in the year of out lort two thousand and twenty-one.
  
• Bag of bones formerly known as the Browns over Lions
  The Lions are a comedy of errors this season, and that includes following up a tie in Pittsburgh with a loss by only 3 to a Cleveland team fielding one of the most injured playing QBs since Phil Rivers. It helped the Browns’ case that Detroit had to start a CPU-generated guy because Goff was out. Just gross football, folks.
  
• Ravens sans Lamar Jackson over Bears sans Justin Fields
  I guess Jackson was sick? And Fields got hurt right quick. So it was Tyler Huntley vs Andy Dalton, and it went about how you would expect.
  
• Texans beat Titans because nothing makes sense or means anything at all
  I mean… Sometimes it really is an Any Given Sunday kind of a league. (That movie sucks BTW and is basically about how shitty the NFL is, which should mean it’s good but it’s also Oliver Stone so of course it’s not).
  
• Washingtons over Carolinas
  I was right to assume that Ron Rivera would have more insight into how to defeat Cam Newton than vice versa.
  
• Bengals over Raiders
  Raiders completely fall apart challenge 2k21
  
• Cardinals over Seahawks
  Russell Wilson says his finger is fine and not the reason he is playing more like how we would all expect Colt McCoy to play. This man clearly doesn’t know how his own hand works. It may be cursed, giving McCoy Wilson’s powers until the curse is reversed. Much to think about.
  
• Chiefs over Cowboys
  lol
  
• Chargers over Steelers
  A SNF game not short on drama at all. At least not in the 4th quarter. While I was at work, so I had to watch on my phone behind the counter keeping an eye out for my boss. He probably wouldn’t;t care anyway.
  
• Buccaneers over Giants
  This is the game that gets a Giants coach fired? And the coach fired is Jason Garrett??? Okay…