Week 2 Results 2021

The major lesson of week 2 is that refs suck. They now have essentially free rein to penalize players for being somewhat rude. And boy did they ever take advantage of that power this week. Yeah, taunting is sometimes a way that toxic masculinity manifests in the NFL, but most of the flags for it have been utter bullshit. I beg the NFL to repeal their new rule before a Saints season ends when a lineman gets flagged in a playoff game for looking at an opponent wrong.

• Washingtons over New Yorks
  The Giants looked a lot better Thursday than they did week 1. But they still game-managed their way into a loss. The Washington defense was not as stout as advertised, but Tyler Hankie did as well as a backup can do on a short week. The least-compelling division in football has a 4-way tie. Oh joy.
  
• Broncos over Jags
  It looked dire when the Jags easily flowed down the field to score a touchdown on the first drive. But after that, they got absolutely nothing done outside a kickoff return. It took the Broncos too long to warm up, but it was easy in the second half. I’ll happily accept going 3-0 before finding out if we’re worth a damn against real teams. When that time comes, we might regret losing Josey Jewell in this game.
  
• Panthers over Saints
  Pretty smug about calling this right. Jameis is still Jameis. This is what the Saints signed up for. The Panthers are shaping up to be a dangerous defense-forward team.
  
• Niners over Eagles
  Do I think I might have slept on the Eagles? sure. A lot of us did. Do I think they also have shown some of the fatal flaws that made me and others doubt them? You bet.
  
• Justin Fields’ Bears over Bengals
  The football gods are trying to save Matt Nagy from himself by knocking Andy Dalton out of the game. Justin Fields looked a bit rough, and the defense really won this game, which is how the Bears have won every time they’ve made the playoffs in the last… Well, forever, really.
  
• Bills shut out Miami
  Tua got his ribs blasted in and the Jake Brisket Dolphins were DOA. The Bills were not even that inspiring, Miami just totally rolled over. If Tua is out long this could get really ugly. Even if he’s not, he didn’t look fantastic anyway.
  
• Patriots over Jetttts
  Those “t”s stand for turnover, as in the 4 interceptions Zach Wilson threw. The Pats should have won by more than they did, honestly. They’ve got an 11-game streak going over the Jets, who next face the second-worst coach to throw your rookie out against.
  
• Raiders over Steelers
  Smug about getting this right too. Derek Carr is balling out, Ben Roethlisberger is dying, it’s all coming together.
  
• Rams outlast Colts
  It wasn’t always pretty but the Rams won fairly comfortably. Somehow Carson Wentz sprained both ankles, and the team says he is “probably” not playing next week. Ya think? Jesus.
  
• Browns saved by Tyrod Taylor injury
  The Texans were on their way to escaping the bottom spot on my rankings with a stunning upset. Then Taylor made way for Davis Mills at halftime and the Browns were able to pull ahead. Rip.
  
• Buccaneers over Falcons
  Tom Brady might be better right now than he has ever been. Kill me.
  
• Cardinals make Mike Zimmer doubt his entire career path
  You miss an extra point, find yourself in field goal range down 1 with seconds left, then miss a 37-yarder? Who does that?
  
• Cowboys sit back and let the Chargers be the Chargers
  I hear the refs were a pain in the ass here and that Mike McCarthy almost lost due to inexplicably bad clock management. Classic. As it is, the Chargers did not live up to what their performance should have been. Both defenses are suspect.
  
• Titans make me and Russell Wilson cry
  Reports of Derek Henry’s demise are greatly exaggerated. He just about single-handedly dragged the Titans back from the dead to win in overtime. The Seahawks are infuriating sometimes.
  
• Ravens’ giant balls over the Chiefs
  Watched this at work, barely worked because it was too exciting.
  
• Packers over Lions
  Despite a lopsided final score, the Packers looked flat in the first half. Still feel like I don’t know who they are.